• Alexa Dione Francis

Old and New Chapters


Welcome back and buckle up folks, it's about to get real.

I was intending to write a completely different post however, this week in particular, I have faced a lot of past, present and potentially future open and closing of chapters in the Book of Life. Deep, I know. I want to talk about what I have learned so far about all types of relationships, education, work and just general stuff that are part of growing up.

I've wrestled with myself on whether I should write any of this but there's a chance something in here might help someone else or be a comfort so I'm going to do it.

Yolo and all that... (Ever since I said 'yolo' ironically it has stayed a part of my vocabulary and comes out every so often and I can only apologise). Song recommendations will be given with each 'life lesson'. You're welcome in advance.

Relationships:

I hate hurting people and I hate being hurt. It's the worst thing, no one likes it and usually people don't mean it (unless they're a really shitty person).

In the last month or so, I have discovered quite a bit about myself, the kind of person I am, what I want from the people around me. The relationship that you should always prioritise is the relationship you have with yourself; obviously so much easier said than done.

Sometimes you know better but sign yourself up for colossal heartbreak anyway. The kind that makes you listen to Taylor Swift songs (pre-Reputation, she's doesn't give any fucks now) for hours and drown in other sad music feeling a little bit stupid because you gave out chances like sweets on Halloween. Yeah, that really sucks. After getting over the initial shock that clearly you cared a lot more than you thought, it's a lot of hard work to get yourself back to normal and start to get over it. Continuing to see someone that made you go all Pre-Reputation Taylor Swift through rose-tinted glasses is tricky but if you've got really good mates, they'll shout at you and list all the crappy things that they did to you until you come back down to earth. Situations like this are, although dreadful to get over, good life lessons and make you feel very wise. I now give excellent advice on topics such as this. Not to brag. (Disclaimer: my advice probably isn't that great but I do feel wise)

LISTEN TO:

- Dua Lipa // New Rules

- Ella Eyre // Comeback

- Anne- Marie // Alarm

- Dua Lipa // IDGAF

- Taylor Swift // I Knew You Were Trouble

- Big Sean // I Don't F*ck With You

(......you get the idea)

Then there's the hurt that people don't talk about as much. It's usually about getting your heartbroken not the hurt you feel when it's the other way round. Breaking up with someone is a horrible feeling, I carried a lot of guilt with me for a while. I knew it was the right thing to do but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt both parties, I felt I couldn't be sad as it had been my decision. The thing is, it isn't fair on either person in that relationship to continue on as you are with one of you unhappy, knowing that it's not what you want anymore and for the other person to be left in the dark when you both deserve all the love in the world but together, it just doesn't work anymore. For me, it was most difficult to realise that actually, it's okay and both of you will move on and fortunately it ended on relatively good terms. I'm a big believer that if something is meant to be, it will happen. You do you.

LISTEN TO:

- Tom Chaplin // The River

- Destiny's Child // Independent Woman Pt. 1

- Ariana Grande // Break Free

- Beyonce // Single Ladies

- Nicki Minaj ft. Beyonce // Feeling Myself

- Dua Lipa // New Love

(...struggling with this one but the first song is really helpful)

Education/Work:

Anyone really sick of hearing 'When you get out into the real world...' or is it just me? I hate it. It's stupid and makes no sense. Am I living in the fake world? Is this an alternate dimension? Could this all be a video game and Education is the final level before completing it and going into the world of work? No, no, no and no. Also; no. Pause while I google who came up with that saying...............I can find no definitive answer but whoever it was can bore off. Every step of life is being 'in the real world' in my opinion, you have to go through each stages to grow and progress onto the next. Unless you are very sheltered with no idea of how anything in the world works, then essentially, you're in the real world from the off.

However, there is no right or wrong way to do things. If you want to go to go onto further education then go for it! Work hard, get those grades, battle through UCAS and get into Uni. If not, that's also okay because, what many teachers/tutors don't want you to know is that there are other options. Travel, go straight into work, find an apprenticeship in the field of work you're hoping to go to, get some work experience under your belt. You don't always need a degree. If you know what your dream job is and that you need a degree of it, then University it is for you my friend. Do whatever makes you happy, life doesn't end straight after you leave school or even once you've left uni and you're not really sure what to do. Post sixth form I had no idea what I was doing and fell into a black hole thinking that I'd be in this tiny town forever working a dead end job. I've ended up doing essentially four years of A Levels (because I just can't get enough) but it is in the industry I hope to go into. I almost, almost got tricked into falling back into the black hole of nothing because when my college course ends in June, at present, I have no definite plan of what I'll be doing.

Research is the key. Ask people, make connections, google stuff for hours and again, try to get work experience in something you think you'd like to do. It's a fab way to find out if that's the career path you want to follow or if you'll absolutely hate it. Currently, I've been putting off asking for work experience in a job I think I'd enjoy because I'm not sure if I'd be good at it. Thing is, I've not tried it. Impossible to tell until I do it. I tend to struggle with taking my own advice but this time, I'm going to do it. Whatever you want, go get it or at least give it a go.

LISTEN TO:

- Demi Lovato // Confident

- Rihanna // Bitch Better Have My Money

- Beyonce // Run The World

- Shawn Mendes // There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back

- Cardi B // Bodak Yellow

- Auli'i Cravalho // How Far I'll Go

(will fight anyone who disagrees that Moana is one of the best disney films out there)

Okay, I think I'm done. I feel like a wise owl. Full of knowledge, purpose, direction and FINALLY SOME MOTIVATION. I've been lacking in that for so long I am currently very behind in my college work and am technically failing the course but we don't talk about that because I'm going to get it done and it'll all be fine. That's all from me but I'll be back in two weeks time with something else that's hopefully decent.

All my love,

Alexa x

P.s. LOVE YO SELF